The Gaming Den

Just out of curiosity, is there at least a single part of this game that isn't determined by

random table

? I probably know the answer, though.

No. And explosions.

Some of the armies get to choose their wargear from lists rather than rolling.

Also, you can choose what units do. Usually. And when it's random it's largely just "scatter in a random direction" rather than a table. With a couple of exceptions to that.

But even outside of Apocalypse, it's very table-heavy.

A thousand pounds? Seriously? I'll never understand Warhammer. I've played it before with legos or other people's shit before, but I can't imagine paying actual cash money for it, much less at the sticker price those dildos actually suggest paying. Like, even if I had Russian oligarch money I think I'd go buy a bunch of sports franchises and boss around millionaires first once I got bored of the obvious shit like fancy whores and tiny giraffes.

...Do people actually have fun playing this game?

Koumei wrote:Hands up, who here thinks these big point values actually mean anything and represent very real differences in the capabilities, rather than being picked from a barrel?

Do you think the game would be improved if the big point values were rolled on a random table? So things might be good or bad in different games?

Whipstitch wrote:A thousand pounds? Seriously? I'll never understand Warhammer. I've played it before with legos or other people's shit before, but I can't imagine paying actual cash money for it,

That's the thing: it's a really shitty game. If you're actually playing it for the game, you're a sucker and there's no helping you. I can understand paying money for pretty minis, bonus points if you use the various ways to get them cheap (ranging from "independent stores" to "secondhand ebay sales" to "ebay sales that might actually be forged" to "actually make a latex mould and cast your own resin"), and enjoying the painting aspect. The cost is stupid, but yeah, that's really the only good bit.

Anyway, my apologies, it turns out that individual models do not reach a thousand pounds.

That said, both forgeworld and GW offer 1-click bundles of multiple things, and some of the FW ones are over a thousand pounds, the GW ones tend to just be a thousand dollars. Totally sensible.

Koumei wrote:BANEBLADES!
Next we have the Banehammer, Now the Banesword for 430, Doomhammer, Hellhammer. Have I mentioned how much I hate the naming scheme for these? QUICK TEST: WHICH ONE IS THE DOOMHAMMER? Shadowsword. Stormlord. At 480 points. The Stormsword is 485 points.

What happened to the Stormblade? Big honkin' plasma gun, shoots better next turn if you dont move this turn. Anyone remember that one?

(Yes, seriously. It was in one of the bigger editions of Epic).

That's not in the GW Apocalypse book. That's made by Forgeworld, and as such is in a few of their Imperial Armour books. There are currently 12 of them, plus IA Aeronautica, plus one or two of them have been reprinted, plus there are about four IA Apocalypse books. Note that most of their books are actually for Apocalypse though.

So good luck finding the fucking thing. But this time round it can move and shoot, but has two firing modes: Strength 7-ish AP 1 or 2 Heavy 2 Massive Blast, or Strength 10 AP 1 or 2 Heavy 1 Apocalyptic Blast.

Answering some other stuff: using random tables to determine even more (prices, base stats of every unit, what you're allowed to field) would be hilarious, and a great parody of the current game, but wouldn't improve it. Obviously, when something (the game) is dying of mercury poisoning (random tables and other bad design), the cure is not to fill them with even more mercury.

And GW actively hate their fans. They sue them whenever possible, for absolutely anything, they stopped doing their Bitz ordering, they then banned other sites from offering Bitz orders (no, this was not so they could reintroduce it themselves, it was just "fuck you, you're not allowed to offer services we fail to offer"). They don't even have their own forums or any such thing, and even White Dwarf magazine contains zero per cent fan made stuff, it's all in-house. And even then is still typically considered unofficial and banned.

Now, onto the non-Imperial factions...

The CULT OF DESTRUCTION is actually pretty rad. You need one or more squads of 3 Obliterators (and if you played Chaos in 4-5E you had nine of them) and one or more squads of 3 Mutilators, which is unfortunate because they suck ass. Now, the Mutilators gain Furious Charge, but they'll never enter charge range anyway with their Slow But Purposeful rule, and any time they deal an unsaved wound in close combat they get a bonus attack.

But you care about the Obliterators: 6 or more models can combine their fire into either a 4' range 10" Blast that hits like a Heavy Bolter, a 4' Strength D AP 1 shot, or a Strength 5 AP 3 Marine-Popping Hellstorm template.

If you started collecting Chaos for 6E, you probably have 3 or more Helldrakes - good news, they get a formation! They can use their Daemonforge rule every turn as opposed to 1/game (I forget what this does), and after deployment but before the first turn, they can actually move up to five feet and even make a Vector Strike before the game starts. Score!

THE KHORNE LORD OF SKULLS! (It comes from Malta!)

If nothing else, 40k is Metal.

This is a new plastic kit. It's a Super Heavy Walker that costs 888 points because 8 is the number of Khorne. It has the Daemon and Daemonforge rules on top of the usual SHW ones, and due to having treads rather than feet, it can Thunderblitz but not Stomp. It gets Daemonic Possession (and thus, It Will Not Die - it can regen Hull Points), and every time it loses a Hull Point, it gains +1 A. It keeps it even if it regenerates, up to a maximum of 10 total.

Its close combat weapon is Strength D AP 1. It also has a shooting arm that by default is a gat (48" S 8 AP 3 Heavy 12 Pinning), but can also be replaced with a skull hurler (60" S 9 AP 3 Primary 1, 10" Blast, re-roll successful saves).

It also gets a belly gun. By default it is Hellstorm, S 8 AP 3 Primary 1. You can upgrade that (for too many points) to S 9 Instant Death, Gets Hot! Or you can swap it for a cannon of 48" S 7 AP 2 Primary 1 Large Blast.

It's probably overpriced (though the defensive possibilities there might actually make it good enough to at least absorb loads of enemy firepower - it's really hard to tell), but whatever, it's cool.

THE BLACK CRUSADE!

When I was... a young boy...

Wait, that's the Black Parade, isn't it? Never mind. You need Failbaddon and the Planeteers of Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh and Tzeench (either Chaos Lords (Sorcerer for Tzeench) with the Marks, or the special characters like Ahriman and Typhus). They all get to use their Finest Hour as though they were all Warlords, and all unleash it on the same turn. Also, you can get the Warmaster's ship to open fire: every turn, the Magma Storm disaster occurs in addition to the normal ones, and as long as Failbaddon is still in play, his player gets to be Master of Disaster for that storm.

The Lost and the Damned: if you take a Dark Apostle and fifty million Chaos Cultists, they all get Feel No Pain, Furious Charge, Infiltrate and after each scheduled break you can resurrect one of the cultist blobs at no cost. That's actually pretty cool.

If you put a bunch of Chaos Sorcerers of Tzeench together, they get a special Charge 2 psychic power: remove 1-3 of them from play as automatic casualties, then unleash one 48" Strength D AP 1 Blast for each one removed.

A bunch of Daemons of Khorne can buddy up to all get +1 S, Fleet and "Instant Death on all rolls of 6 to Wound".

A bunch of Daemons of Tzeench can buddy up and then they roll on a fucking table to decide what benefit they get each turn. On a 1, they fail at life and every unit gets 1d6 S 4 AP 5 hits. On a 2, all their shooting attacks gain the Soul Blaze rule. On a 3-4 they all improve their Invulnerable Saves by +2 (which means they're all walking in with 2++ or 3++). On a 5-6 they get to replace their shooting with a special combined attack of 24" Strength (1d6+4) AP (1d3) Assault (number of models) Soul Burn. Soul Burn is the special Daemons of Tzeench rule that is similar to Soul Blaze except it can also grant the target some free Feel No Pain.

Slaaneshi Whores can all deep strike in as a group and then assault on the same turn (combine with your choice of "no scatter"), and Rend on a 4+ rather than just a 6. That's pretty respectable and could be used as a way of scratching superheavies up, to be honest.

If Epidemius leads a bunch of Nurgle crap, they force all enemies within 18" to reroll successful Leadership Tests, and you have to tally all the wounds and hull points of damage they deal. For every 70 such things (7 being the number of Nurgle), they gain an extra Victory Point.

THE TETRAGON OF DARKNESS: you need all four Greater Daemons, but when they're all on the table, you draw invisible lines to make a four-sided shape. Every daemon unit inside it (including the greaters that define the boundary) rerolls failed Invulnerable Saves, and every unit at all inside it (friend or foe, and again, including those four) is Shrouded - that's +2 to Cover Saves. Note that if your Invulnerable is 4+ and your Cover is 2+, you have to decide whether to take a 2+ save or a 4+ with rerolls.

ORKS!
If you have 3-5 Deffrolla Battlewagons in Broadsword formation, they get to reroll how many models they squish with deffrollas, but sadly don't get to THUNDERBLITZ! the enemies. Also they get a 4+ Cover save against hits against the front armour.

3-5 Burna-Bombers in Arrowhead formation get a sweet deal. When they do a bombing run, leave one of the blasts in place - that becomes Lethal Terrain for the rest of the game. Also, any enemy that needs to make a Ld test because of the Burna-Bombers has to subtract (number of Burna Bombers in the unit) from their Ld score.

Mega-Nobz and a Warboss can combine to get Feel No Pain and Fearless, and to also gain a once-per-game Asteroid Drop.

If you take heaps of Deff Dreadz and Killa Kanz, you get to roll on a fuckmothering table at the start of the game. On a 1, they all get Hammer of Wrath. On a 2-3, all their guns are at +1 Strength. On a 4-5 they get a 5++. On a 6, they get all of the above. At least it doesn't kill them on a 1, I guess.

They also have the GARGANTUAN SQUIGGOTH. At 525 points, this Gargantuan Beast is being taken instead of 105 Gretchin. It's a beast in its own right that puts Tyranid monsters to shame, and it can also transport your dudes. Take one.

The Stompa comes next. It's way better than Baneblades, and finally it actually costs more, at 770 points. It's a SH Walker with 12 Hull Points, many weapons and actual transport capacity.

Have 100+ Ork boyz? Great! Field the Green Tide: all Ork Boyz mobs within 2" are automatically added to it, and the entire thing is considered just one unit. They automatically call a Waaagh every turn, and if the rest of the army does on any turn, they benefit from that as well - roll an extra die and they pick the highest two.

Stay tuned for pointy-eared fuckheads and more!

Sidenote: the back of the book has a section on bonus material for Apocalypse games specifically set on Armageddon, which is sort of "the default assumption for Apocalypse" (and has been the "BIG BATTLES" thing since what, second edition? Third?) No, no progress has been made in the story, fuck you. Anyway, they introduce some new formations blah blah, and also, a new table for "the terrible desert environment" Unnatural Disasters. In their ongoing commitment to make "not on a literal table" play as difficult as possible, one of them involves tearing a piece of paper into 1" squares and dropping it in a handful a few feet above the midle of the table. Any unit hit by a piece of paper is hit by a sand devil.

No really. I have a suggestion of what paper to tear up for that. I think you know what it is, too.

---

ONTO THE ELDAR!

Remember that they got a shiny new codex not that long before this book. This book specifically refers to the new codex, so new units in it might surprise you.

3-5 Falcon grav-tanks can be taken as an Armoured Spearhead. If they all move Flat Out (remember to be in the right formation to get the speed boost), they are Shrouded, so they probably have a 2+ Cover Save at this point. Yes, they're hiding behind Terminators. If they do not shoot in a given Shooting phase (for instance, they move Flat-Out instead), then in the next Shooting phase, all their Pulse Lasers and Bright Lances are Twin-Linked (and the Pulse Lasers gain the Lance rule as well).

Take a squad of 5-10 Farseers, and they don't get Perils on 6,6. On 1,1 they can choose to either pass and suffer Perils or fail and be fine. That's pretty awesome. Their power is decent as well: it's Warp Charge 3, and you cast it at the start of the turn, meaning you can still use basically all of your other ones. You place a token up to 24" away, and it stays there until the start of your next turn. In the meantime, any enemy unit within 12" of that? All friendly units re-roll failed Hit/Wound rolls against them (technically they have to be targeting that unit, so a scattered template arguably doesn't count, nor would an exploding vehicle, and I look forward to the "no, I charged YOU in combat, you're technically not targeting anyone!" argument).

If you take the Avatar of Khaine the Bloody Handed who is totally not Khorne the Blood God, and all six of the Phoenix Princes (note: ZOOM and BLOOP BLOOP are still not represented, and I'm all out of fucks to give), Khaine is better. His fire immunity now covers Flame, Melta and Plasma weapons (lascannons, tesla cannons, bright lances and particle explosions are okay, as are missiles, even those with "Fire" in the name). His Wailing Doom increases to 24", as does his Khaine's Awakening special rule - I don't have the new dex and haven't even seen it. Presumably it gives a boost to nearby units. Also he gets +1 A for each Phoenix Lord within 6".

In other words, he is just about on par with some other Apocalypse units at this point, and that unit contains two dudes who eat tanks and shit dozer blades.

The Phantom Titan costs 2,500 friggin points and weighs in at 24 Hull Points. Its head is about 4 eldar tall. It can take weapons with a Strength D Apocalyptic Blast or 4x Strength D Large Blast. And other stuff, but you know what to do. Also, in the Shooting Phase it can either fire everything or fire one weapon and run or just run twice. Yes it has Holofields.

The 900 point 9HP Revenant Titan is smaller and won't require a mortgage. You may need to sell your car though. Anyway, it has Strength D weapons that you will not swap for Sonic Lances, it's Agile like the Phantom, it has Holofields and the Jump Jets let it move 36" in the movement phase.

Armoured Spearhead of 3-5 Fire Prisms? Don't mind if I do! These things have weapons with two profiles, focused (Small Blast) and Dispersed (Large Blast), and get stronger when more of them add their power. Possibly 6E changed it to one profile that gets stronger, I don't know. The Apocalypse formation in 5E let them go SUPER DISPERSED (where you could get up to S 10 AP 1 Apocalyptic Blast or several shots in Apocalyptic Barrage) or SUPER FOCUSED (where you could get up to S D AP 1 Large? Massive? Blast). It's only one Apocalyptic Focus now: when five of them fire together, it becomes a single 120" S D/10/9 AP 1/1/1 Heavy 1 Apocalyptic Mega-Blast with the Lance rule. I think this is the strongest AMB in the game, but note that every time you shoot one of them out of the sky, the damage goes down.

Also it's Twin-Linked and only one model needs to draw LoS to the target (the others have to draw LoS to the shooter).

Wraithknights are pretty awesome looking, and they're new C: Eldar units. Sized somewhere between "Wraithlord" and "Revenant Titan", they have a million plastic pieces to assemble and are rad. And expensive. Take 3-5 of them in a squad (Monstrous Creatures, not Walkers), and you get to add "the number in the formation" (even when reduced to one, it's still +1) to their Move Range, Charge Range, WS and BS.

Take heaps of Vypers (which, due to having better weapons and not shuricannons*, won't benefit much), Jetbikes (because you have heaps of those from 5E and they're not suddenly awful now) and at least one Autarch on a Jetbike (this is the one you probably don't actually have because you could have Farseers instead - but The Solitaire is a pretty good Jetbike Autarch in 6E). Their shuricannons and shuripults get to re-roll failed Wounds/Penetration.

AS ABOVE, BUT WITH SPIKES AND POISON

Take a bunch of "the Haemonculus" stuff. Any friendly unit within 12" that has at least one Pain Token increases its Feel No Pain to 4+ (what it used to be). If they have four or more Pain Tokens, it instead becomes 3+, so they have a Space Marine stitched into their flesh. Also, enemy units within a foot of the Monstrous Creatures reduce their Toughness by 1. You can totally use this on a Space Marine Commander to let an Autocannon Instant-Death them. In fact, I'm telling you to do precisely this.

Take a bunch of Wych stuff (including Hellions and Beast Masters - they didn't get the memo about not being in the Wych Cult in the latest dex, but IIRC Hellions get combat drugs still, so w/e). Beastmasters and their beasts now get Combat Drugs as well. Whenever any unit in this formation gains a Pain Token from killing an enemy unit (yes, they prevented delicious exploits there), pick another DE unit within 12", they also get a Pain Token. Finally, they roll twice for drugs and take both results (if they have Duke Slicus, they roll three dice and pick two).

Take som Kabalite stuff and put them all on Raiders or Venoms, and take at least one Ravager. They all have to Derp Strike into play, and re-roll failed Hit rolls on that turn. They also get to place a Large Blast portal on the battlefield when setting up fortifications - even vehicle units can treat it as a table edge for entering play.

Take 3-5 Ravagers in an Armoured Spearhead. They're Shrouded and the leader has a special ray gun that can knock out Void Shields, Power Fields and Holofields. Take ten.

Take 3-5 Razorwing Jetfighters in an Armoured Flying Spearhead, and it becomes hilarious. They get to fly at ground level and decapitate people.

Tune in next time, for Tyranids (it'll make you sad), Necrons (it'll make you happy) and Tau (kind of cool).

*It's not that they can't take them, it's just that you won't have given them those.

IT'S TYRANID TIME!


Here's something you need to understand: Tyranids have not been getting a good deal in like, forever. So just understand that.

For 565 points you can take a Barbed Hierodule. At T 8 and only 6 Wounds with a 3+ Armour Save and no Invulnerable Save, this is not an impressive Gargantuan Creature. Also, know how all Super-Heavy Walkers strike at Strength D? Fuck you, Tyranids, you get Strength 10. It has 5 attacks when it doesn't charge, re-rolls any roll of 1 to hit in close combat, and has the Agile rule. Incidentally, its shooting is basically the same as for ALL Tyranid Gargantuan Creatures: a pair of Bio Cannons at 48" S 10 AP 3 Assault 6 (each). Now that's some heavy firepower - even at BS 3 you're scoring around 6 hits, and that has a pretty good chance of doing something to enemy vehicles. But it's not that impressive.

If you take 3-6 Carnifexes, they get the It Will Not Die rule (like Regeneration, but better! You can also give them Regeneration if you like), and a combined-fire Plasma-Scream that uses the Hellstorm template and can go up to S 10 for all 6.

Taking 3+ broods each of Gaunts and Hormagants lets you bring one unit back after each break at zero cost, and every time enemies fire at them, they have to roll 1d3. If they roll a number that is smaller than the turn number, they are low on ammo and can only fire Snap Shots. Templates still work just fine.

The Harridan is better than it used to be... which isn't saying much. It's a Flying Gargantuan Creature that costs 735 points. It's T 8 with a 3+ save, 8 Wounds and no Invulnerable, so it dies easily. It has the two Bio-Cannons and the scything talons. Also, it can carry a brood of 20 Gargoyles like an Open-Topped transport. So basically it has two Bio-Cannons and a 12? inch S 4 AP 6? Assault 20 (or was it 40?) weapon.

The Hierophant Bio-Titan costs precisely 1000 points. It has 10 Wounds at Toughness 9 with 2+/6++ for its save. What a joke. It's Agile, and has two Bio-Cannons, Scything Talons, a Lash Whip (not to be confused with the Blade Sword or the Gun Pistol), and Regeneration and Toxic Miasma. If you can somehow force enemies to engage it in close combat, it's a real beast that can murder vast amounts of infantry and is hard to kill. You see the problem.

Tyranids get a Supreme HQ formation and it doesn't suck balls. You need precisely 3 Hive Guard (sad, as you probably have 100 of them - field them separately), precisely 3 Tyrant Guard and precisely 2 Hive Tyrants (one may be the Swarm Lord). They all get Feel No Pain, and any Tyranid allies within the Synapse range gain Preferred Enemy (your mum) and Counter Attack. Cute. Also, if any unit in the formation is targeted by shooting, they can form the FORTRESS OF CHITIN!



This means they all have +1 to their Armour Save (basically they are all 2+, and for the Hive Tyrants, they're still 2+ if something gives them a -1), and are Shrouded. But next turn they move as though in Difficult Terrain.

There's also a Mawloc/Trygon/Trygon-Prime/Ravener one that can grant others the Shrouded rule, and a Genestealer/Lictor one that disrupts leadership.


DO YOU LIKE SOME NECRONS?
We put some robots in your undead so you can be unfeeling while you're being unfeeling.

Note: Necrons were the final 5E Codex and they were really good. Then 6E came along and it turned out they were actually the first 6E Codex because the whole time they were designed with 6E in mind. They are still really good. Holy fucking shit, a Xenos dex that comes first and is on ground as solid as that of the Spess Mehrins.



They also get a new boxed set for Apocalypse that can be made into three different things - in one case, two of them at once (as in, you can build either A, or B + C).

For a Supreme HQ, you take Trazyn and 5 units of Lychguard (you don't have any of these, they're one of the few "not good" choices normally, and are a new one so you don't have any from their old dex). They're all one superunit and are Fearless. If there are at least 20 models with Dispersion Fields (I think Lychguard are 5-10, so it's a guarantee* at the start of the game but can certainly be chipped down), everyone gets a 3++ and reflects projectiles like they had Dispersion Fields. Yes, even Trazyn, and the Lychguard that swap for other weapons. Also, every time an enemy Apocalypse formation is wiped out, it drops a token. If Trazyn goes on to collect the token, there's a chance of gaining an extra VP.

The Infinite Phalanx is their way of admitting that in the Troops department, you don't have much variety. It used to be "Necron Warriors. With or without fields that give their melee attacks the Gauss rule". Now it's "Necron Warriors, no upgrades" OR "Immortals. With Gauss Carbines or Tesla Coils". Apparently the undead robots from space gained this electro-gun knowledge from Tesla. Who ever would have guessed? Anyway, take 10 units of Warriors (so 100-200 models). They're Fearless and Relentless (relentless means dick to them), and they can't take transports, but they can totally benefit from attached special characters and from barges regenerating their numbers. Also, they cause Fear if they number 100+ models. If they number 100+ models and/or reanimation tokens, they come back on a 4+. If it's 150+ models and/or tokens, they come back on a 3+.

If you take a Royal Court, a squad of Immortals and "every special character", you get another Supreme HQ. Additionally, at the start of the game, you roll three times on a random table to determine, in order, the special objectives that Imotekh has decided you need to meet. Yes, the "Tactical Genius" of the necrons is a crazy bastard. Here's the deal: you have to meet the first objective before you can get the second one, and the second before you can pass the third. For each one you meet, you get a bonus strategic asset, and if you pass the third one, you gain 1d3 victory points for managing to please him during this particular coke binge. Objectives range from "go a whole round without taking a single casualty (for the formation, not your whole army)" to "cause an enemy unit to fail a Morale test".

Missing: special formations for their Lightningteslaskimmers (very popular in normal play) or their Doom Scythes (the croissant flyers with death rays, claimed by some to be broken).


Pictured above: something that gets no new love.

Their special shiny things come next post :D

*Barring the odd decision of swapping all of them out.

NECRONS GO LARGE

Okay, we all knew this was coming: old Apocalypse had a datasheet for multiple Monoliths, one of which had to be extra big. There was a joke video showing off the new "Megalith" (well done getting a toy castle from He-Man or something and painting it up to look like a Necron thing). But this thing, while less impressive visually (and less statistically impressive than the video fake), is still pretty cool.

It's the Obelisk. It looks like a Monolith without open gaps in it, sort of sealed up by a group of their mecha-spiders, and bloating out in a curved way that is at odds with the straight lines that make up the patterns. At 335 points for a Super-Heavy Skimmer, it's not a powerhouse - 12 armour (all sides) and 6 Hull Points. It does have four Tesla Spheres though, as well as Living Metal (not the old "fuck your Melta/Lance" one, the new "saving throw to negate certain types of damage" one). It can Deep Strike, but if it doesn't, and just starts on the field, then if you go second you can declare it is dormant: it can't move or shoot, but has a 3++ save. You then make it active at the start of your turn.


Pictured: a billion dollars well spent.

Spoilered below: a suitable proxy:

Also, it creates a sort of zone of denial against Fast Skimmers - they take a S 8 hit when within two feet of it. At the start of every shooting phase. For both teams.

Alternatively, you can crank it up to 9 Hull Points and lower it to 315 points as the Tesseract Vault. It's now split into four chunks, loosely held together in their efforts to trap the C'tan Shard within it. Also the armour goes up to 14 (all sides) and it goes from BS 4 to 5. It's still Living Metal, but doesn't have the Invulnerable Save option, and if it ever loses its last Hull Point, it's automatically the most powerful Titanic Explosion.



It also has to buy two powers from a list of options, the cheapest coming to a total of 175 points - so the actual cost is 490 or more. They range from 6d6 S 8 AP 3 shots to the Apocalyptic Mega-Blast to an Apocalyptic Barrage (6) to a Strength D Hellstorm. Good stuff.


You seriously have to draw line of fire from the dude in the middle.

If you built the Obelisk instead, you still get to use that C'tan model, as you now have the Gargantuan Creature (only 2-3 Necrons tall, but hovering and stuff) known as the Transcendent C'tan. It's 420 points plus a minimum of 220 points worth of options. The statline is pretty decent, and it has a 3+/4++ for its saving throw. Also it explodes when killed, out to 4d6" at S 10 AP 2.

It gets two weapon choices from the same list as the Tesseract Vault. It also has one of the following:
-End of its move phase: centre the Large Blast on it. Any models, friend or foe, except it, that are under that blast, suffer a S 6 AP 3 hit that ignores cover.
-It can move 18" in a straight line, ignoring models and terrain, delivering a Strength D hit to every model in its path. It can't assault when it does this.
-As the smallest Gargantuan creature, it gets Large Blasts for its Stomp attack. Because fuck you, Orks and Nids.

This is what the one in the box looks like, the way they painted it:


Honestly, it looks like it's made of (possibly glow-in-the-dark) rubber and is a $1 toy for children. Reminds me of "Monster in my Pocket" from my childhood.

Incidentally, do you have 1 T-Vault and 8 Monoliths? Of course you fucking don't. But if you did, you could deploy them in a special formation (3x3 with the Vault in the middle). Every Monolith within 1" of the Vault has a 6++ and It Will Not Die. Also, for any given Monolith with those benefits, the save improves by 1 for every other Monolith within 1" of it (ie at the start, they all have a 4++ save). Yes, you can position them so that not all get the benefits but one gains a 2++ if you really want.

The T-Vault also gets a bonus weapon, the Annihilator Beam. It's 24" Strength D, with no blast, but every Monolith within 3" can add 12" to the range rather than firing their own weapons. So if you wanted to, you could position them way back and fire away with 10 feet of range.

TAU, GLORIOUS TAU!

These guys have a pretty solid 5E Codex, and they are flat-out designed to team up with others. They're BFFs with half the armies out there, and they work really well with both Eldar and Necrons when it comes to complementing each other* and balancing their strengths and weaknesses.

So what do we have for them in Apocalypse? No new models from GW (but loads from FW). Just formations for the units you already do have. So you can take a squadron of 3-5 jetfighters and grant them a bonus to hit other flying crap as well as giving your army bonus marker lights.

Or you can take Pathfinders and Fire Warriors, all in Devilfish, and make the Fishies Fast when they first enter (and let them re-roll all misses when within a foot of an objective).

How about some Kroot? Well, they get Furious Charge and Outflank - and get to choose the table edge they use.

Stealth Teams? Sure! All of their weapons Ignore Cover and they can halve the minimum distance from enemies to deploy using Infiltrate.

One Stealth Team and a bunch of Crisis Suits (with optional Riptide)? The Stealthies start on the table, and then the rest Derp Strike in. If they choose to land within 18" of the Stealthies, they don't scatter, and their shooting is Twinned.

Now, Riptides... these are pretty awesome too. They're massive Crisis Suits, to the point that they're actually Monstrous Creatures. They have a million pieces so lots of posing and weapon load-outs. Also hilariously they are units (of 1), not independent characters, because they can take drones with them. This means a character can join a "unit" that consists of one Riptide, and aside from passing on any passive abilities that apply to the whole unit (most of them), the character inexplicably gains the Toughness value of the Riptide.

So if you have a bunch of them, then in any turn, any Riptide gets +1 BS if firing at a target that another Riptide already shot at. Also they reroll their "I'm going to explode" rolls if they want.

A Devilfish and a bunch of Sky Rays lets the Sky Rays fire all their missiles in one go if they like, and all friendly Tau within five feet of the Devilfish are Shrouded against flying crap.

Now I went through that quickly, and it might sound a little uninteresting, because big new special kits are cooler, but here's the thing: all those things you have there, you can use in normal games. Sure, you probably won't field five Riptides in one normal game, but you're not buying stuff here exclusively for Apocalypse. In that respect, they get the best deal, and many of these things are generally useful.

So what could possibly be left after this? The stuff for everyone: buildings that are actually bigger than the stores that sell them.

*Tau: you look rather fetching today in that hat.
Necron: thank you, have you lost weight?

THE LAST BIT:
(As I can't be fucked covering the little "bonus" section on Armageddon. Basically: more Ork Stompa-related stuff and formations, Imperial Titans, Imperial Guard + Space Marine formations (some aren't terrible), more Unnatural Disasters and Battlefield setups. What the fuck ever.)

Come back later if you want funny pictures

Planetstrike introduced fortifications as terrain pieces you can field for your army. 5E actually added them to the basic game to a small extent, as the Fortification slot for each force (0-1). Typically, you take the Aegis line, because it's cheap, gives a simple 3+ Cover Save, and offers you some anti-air support. Some armies need that support. Occasionally, people take the Bastion, because it's well-armoured, holds troops, and if you put a squad of Retributors in it, you can actually have 8 Rending Heavy Bolters and 1 Rending Anti-Air Quad-Autocannon. No-one ever takes the Fortress of Redemption.

So here we have SOME NEW ONES! And to be honest, the minis are enormous and look pretty cool, and the rules aren't bad.

So the Aquila Strongpoint is BigLargeMcFuckenHuge in size and 535 points. It consists of a Bunker Annex (Medium Building, AV 15) and a Main Strongpoint (Large Building, AV 15). It can take up to four Heavy Bolters, and can be made in two varieties:
Macro Cannon: this has two profiles:

• 72" S D AP 1 Primary 1 Large Blast
• 180" S 10/7/5 AP 1/4/6 Primary 1 Apoc. Mega-Blast

Any Flyer or Flying _____ Creature that lies between the gun and the blast point (second blast option only) gets to roll 1d6 due to Sonic Boom. On a 1, a Flyer will Crash and Burn automatically, whereas a critter suffers 1d3 automatic wounds.

The other option is the Vortex Missile Silo: Infinite Range, S D AP 1 Ordinance 1 Large Blast Vortex, once per Shooting Phase but only 7 per battle. If the strongpoint collapses or detonates, roll 1d6 for each remaining missile. On a 1-2, a given missile scatters 2d6" and explodes.

There are also big Firestorm Redoubts. They're long sideways bunkers (rather than tall ones), each with a pair of Fuckoffator Lascannons (2x Twin-Link Interceptor Lascannons). There is a special Armageddon formation for these where they can combine-fire (making only 3/4 of the shots, but enemy Flyers can't Evade).

There are also Vengeance Weapon Batteries: big turrets that aren't as big as the Aquila things, but are still big. They can have Leman Russ weaponry like Battle Cannons or Punisher Gatling Cannons.

And finally... as an excuse to use your special castle and army man playsets (rather than buying the expensive minis from this), there is a formation called The Grand Redoubt. You need:

• 0-1 Fortresses of Redemption
• 0-1 Skyshield Landing Pads
• 0-1 Firestorm Redoubts
• 0+ Vengeance Weapon Batteries
• 0-2 Imperial Bastions
• 0+ Imperial Defence Lines (armoured trenches)
• 0+ Imperial Defence Emplacements (bunkery things)
• At least one Aquilla Strongpoint

You need a minimum of six things here.

Any unit that occupies any part of the massive playset is Stubborn, and any infantry kept in reserve can enter play from any access points on any Aquilla Strongpoints.

Tune in later, in 4-8 weeks, as in a moment of stupidity I ordered the latest Forgeworld Apocalypse book. It has pretty pictures, so sue me. I'll be sure to cover the awful rules for pretty new models that they add :D

So they might charge heaps, but the books are pretty and they deliver pretty quickly. I already have IA: Apocalypse, so starting this week, I'll cover various stuff. What do people want a merciless assault on first?

• Special Warzone: Vraks (new disasters, characters, formations and assets)
• New crap for SPESS MEHRINS (includes non-Apocalypse stuff)
• New crap for The Imperial Guard (mostly Super-Heavies)
• New crap for Newcrons (mostly stuff for normal-play actually)
• New crap for two flavours of Space Elf (massive grav-tanks)
• New Ork Crap (the usual junk nailed together in different ways)
• New crap for Tau (big flying stuff)
• New crap for Chaos (both flavours. Big daemons and whatever.)
• New crap for Tyranids (not much, because fuck tyranids)
• My disappointment on their typing

(As a sidenote, Sisters can, as usual, fuck off, but they do get a couple of things from Forgeworld: the Avenger aircraft as Heavy Support (a decent choice actually), the Aquila Lander as a Dedicated Transport for the HQ choices (not worth it), and the Repressor as a Dedicated Transport for basically anyone. It's been buffed a bit, at Front Armour 13, but sadly it still only holds 10 with something like 2 fire points.)

Typing. Also, SPEHSS MERINGUES!

(also also, I don't think the ctan is actually any different material, it's just carefully painted to look cheap. I got the White Dwarf where they were flogging it (never again...), and it included directions)

Okay, they get points for being British, and thus having armour.

But they then proceed to lose them. It's just... all over the place. Apparently the plural of "cannon" is "cannon". As in, multiple things will be listed as having two ____ cannon. Not cannons. And then you see something about a telsa cannon (not a tesla cannon), and so on. Little things, but enough that you actually notice.

Also, "The Malanthrope, and all units within 12 inches (including the Malanthrope)" and such. Awkward wording that, while not incorrect, is poorly written.

---

SPESS MERINGUES!

First of all, they have the Fellblade superheavy tank. It's cheaper than the Baneblade, which should alert you to possible problems here. It has Ballistic Skill four, and twelve Hull Points. So far we're looking at upgrades and a price discount. It also doesn't have to pay for its sponsons: it gets two sponsons with quad-link lascannons. Sorry, quad-lascannon. No s there. It can swap them for Laser Destroyers for free.

Quad Lascannon: 48" S 9 AP 2 Heavy 2 Twin-Linked
Destroyer: 36" S 9 AP 2 Ordnance 1 Twin-Linked

In most cases, stick with the first. Two shots is better than one shot with two chances to penetrate, never mind the range.

It can also take "fuck your Melta" armour for a hefty cost, and its pintle weapon can be a Storm Bolter, Heavy Bolter, Multi-Melta or Heavy Flamer.

Now as for the main gun, it's not as good as the Baneblade's, but not to the point of balancing it out. It's "only" 100 inches of range, and has two options: High Explosive for S 8 AP 3 Ordnance 1, 7" Blast, Twin-Linked, or Armour Piercing for S 9 AP 2 Heavy 1, 3" Blast, Armourbane, Twin-Linked.

Next you have the Typhon. It's what happens when a Vindicator and a Land Raider have a baby together. It only has 6 HP for a Super-Heavy, but it's all 14s for armour. Also it gets to add +1 to its Thunderblitz rolls because it's heavier than the galaxy. It only has one gun, the DREADHAMMER SIEGE CANNON. Okay, new rule: every time something is just an XY name (Fellblade, Dreadhammer, Storm Shield), drink once.

Anyway, it has two feet of range, or four feet if it stays still, amd os S 10 AP 1 Primary 1, 7" Blast, No Cover. It can also take Ceramite Shielding, a pintle weapon, and a pair of sponsons (Heavy Bolters or Lascannons, not twinned).

Next we get the Cerberus. It's 14/14/13 with 6 Hull Points, and gains +1 on its "how badly does it blow up?" roll. It can take all of the same upgrades as the Typhon, and its main gun is a Neutron Laser Battery. Because Space Marines are known for being at the forefront of testing new weird tech, right? It's 72" S 10 AP 1 Primary 1d3, Concussive, with two special rules:
Feedback: any time it fails to Penetrate a vehicle or fails to Wound a model (on the basic To-Wound roll, saving throws don't matter here), feedback causes it to roll 1d6. On a 1, it loses a Hull Point.
Shock Pulse: if it penetrates a vehicle (including Super Heavy), that vehicle can only fire Snap Shots on the following turn. Yes, you need to place new tokens on vehicles for this.

They're both under 400 points each, for the record, so they're not bad choices. I'd go for it. Now the next few pages actually cover stuff you can theoretically use outside of Apocalypse. Protip: you won't be allowed to.

The Spartan assault tank is a 295 point monster of a Heavy Support choice, and is what happens when a Land Raider takes roids. It gets five Hull Points, and can hold 25 dudes - or a full squad of 10 Terminators and two independent characters in terminator armour. Note that we're talking 695 points for the Spartan and Terminators, before special weapons are added, and then another 100+ for each of the characters. Don't do that. Just don't.

Anyway, the hull has a Twin Heavy Bolter which can instead be a Twin Heavy Flamer. The sponsons get Quad Lascannon which can instead be Laser Destroyers, amd it can take a Hunter-Killer, Ceramite Plating and Frag Assault Launchers. It has an Assault Ramp of course. It also gets the pintle weapon choice of the previous things. Oh, and Power of the Machine Spirit is on.

What if you want to go the other way for a Land Raider, and want a budget one? Well we have the Proteus! At 200 points, it's the same basic BS 4 Armour 14/14/14 Hull 4 beast, but only holds ten guys, and only has two side hatches, no front assault ramp. It still has Power of the Machine Spirit, and it still has the sponson twin lascannon on each side. It can take the dozer, extra armour, ceramite, missile, pintle weapon etc. It can also be upgraded with the Twin Heavy Bolter/Flamer at the front, but honestly, you're taking this because it's cheap. It can also spend 50 points and 2 men worth of transport capacity to gain the Scouts rule and the ability to play around with Reserve rolls. So you could have a 200 point bargain of an armoured transport (non-assault) that fires twin lascannon, or a 250 point scouting lascannonneer that acts as a strategic support vehicle.

I actually approve of this one.

Now let's talk about dreadnoughts. Do you want MORE EXPENSIVE DREADNOUGHTS? How about TALLER, SO THEY'RE EASIER TO SHOOT? Okay, how about "looking a lot less stupid"? I sold you on that one, right?

The Contemptor costs 175 points, and has WS 5 BS 4 S 7 (10) Armour 13/12/10 I 4 A 2 Hull 3. So they're pretty beefy, but you can totally take them out with your weapon of choice. That said, its Atomantic Shielding grants a 5++ against shooting and a 6++ against melee, so there's no guarantee. This also adds 1" to its explosion radius, hilariously. That's practically a fluff thing, like getting Fire Resistance 3 in D&D.

It has a Dread Weapon with Storm Bolter, and a Twin Heavy Bolter. The gun can be swapped for the usual Dread options and also a Kheres Ass Cannon or a Heavy Conversion Beamer. Yes, if it goes DOUBLE FIST then it gets another attack. It can also swap its fist for another gun (same options), or for a Chainfist with Storm Bolter. Any Storm Bolter can be swapped for a Heavy Flamer, Melta Gun, Plasma Blaster (Assault 2 Plasma Gun - remember that Gets Hot! applies to vehicles now!) or Graviton Gun. It can also take Extra Armour, +1 BS (so it has the base stats of a Captain or something) or a Cyclone Missile Launcher.

The Graviton Gun is good anti-armour stuff and also fucks with terrain. The Heavy Conversion Beamer requires you not move even if you're a vehicle, and at maximum range (42-72") it fucks things up as a S 10 AP 1 Large Blast. The Kheres Ass Cannon is awesome, at 24" S 6 AP 4 Heavy 6, Rending. ALL THOSE BULLETS.

The Blood Angels get their own variant. It starts with two fists, and also has the Red Thirst rule. It can swap the fists for Talons if it likes, or can swap one fist for a gun (missing a couple of options, but Kheres Time is still there). Storm Bolters can only be swapped for Melta Guns or Heavy Flamers. It can take a Magna-Grapple - the GET OVER HERE! option. No, this one can't be added to the Death Company, nor can it be a Librarian.

The Space Wolves one gets two more Attacks than the others because fuck you, and Night Sagas (it gets to choose a special rule, and has an Oath, but there's no penalty for ignoring the Oath). It also has some Wolf Wolf of the Wolf Wolf upgrades.

You can also take a Contemptor-Mortis: it has to have two guns arms, and of the same kind. That said, if it doesn't move, it gets Skyfire and Interceptor in the shooting phase (that is, it can shoot ground targets and flyers, and intercept-fire things that Derp Strike). Sadly it can't take Conversion Beamers, that'd be hilarious.

Back to the bargain bin, we have the Deimos Relic Predator for only 75 points. Its weapon is an Autocannon, which may be swapped for a Flamestorm (TOASTY! +15 points), Twin-Lascannon (+25), Plasma Destroyer (the Heavy 3 Plasma Cannon. +35), Large Blast Melta Cannon (+45) or Heavy Conversion Beamer (+65). Note: one of these in each of your corners means most of your standard 4x6' table is in the zone of "enemies die".

It can take the usual sponsons and crap for a Predator.

Back to the Superheavy Front: Thunderhawks! The Grey Knight get their own, basically it's psychic (Fortitude), has Reinforced Aegis, and can take Psy-Bolts or replace Heavy Bolters with Psycannons. And it can swap missiles over to Mindstrike.

For the Thunderhawk Transporter, it loses the big gun, and can only carry 15 dudes, however... it can also carry 2x Rhino (or Predator, Razorback etc) or 1x Land Raider. They may have passengers on them.

They get a special strike force, too, for 1-3 Thunderhawks full of men. They pick a big target, and until it's dead, they're Fearless and can re-roll any roll of 1 to Wound their specific target. If they kill it, you get an extra victory point.

Drop Pods get some love: have you ever wanted to Deep Strike a dreadnought right behind enemy lines with no mishap and the ability to assault when they strike? Me too! The Lucius Drop Pod does all of that. Think of it as a 65 point "winning" surcharge. Except they changed that this time around, because that was fucking ridiculous. Now, it deep strikes in, and is Shrouded (for one turn), and as long as the Dread remains in the Pod, it's Shrouded too. So the enemy has a chance to react, but shooting isn't so reliable so they might just create some distance. But the Dread can disembark and assault next turn.

Yes, they get a formation too: a bunch of Dreads (any type) in Lucius pods, and basically a bombardment hits before they land.

Thankfully, that brings us to the end of Space Marines. Ugly Bricks and Less Ugly Dreadnoughts.

The plural of cannon actually is cannon. But also cannons. It is like fish and fishes.

But yes, I think they just have an ass-backwards style guide. In the 6e book, they have several truly grating choices, which they use consistently ("roll a dice," I'm looking at you.)

Do keep going though, please.

I shall - tomorrow I'll probably tackle the Imperial forces. A few of the things they have actually look cool - like modern military vehicles (admittedly with serious OHS&W violations). Other things are stupid, don't worry.

HONK HONK IMA' TONK!
Or: the Imperial Guard Get The Most Love

Forgeworld love the Imperial Guard. It's implied in their name, and in the fact that their book series is "Imperial Armour". But the Guard get disproportionate stuff added to them. On the plus side, for those of us who like the Valkyrie, Chimera and other vehicles that look modern, and sigh at the sight of the Land Raider, Leman Russ and other tractor-bricks, they like to give us some modern warfare vehicles. Without further ado...

The first two are relatively cheap. The Crassus Armoured Transport is 250 points as a Super Heavy, although it only has 6 Hull Points. It holds 35 models, and two units can embark/disembark per turn (via the rear hatch). Sadly, no fire points. That said, at 14/13/12 it's well-armoured for driving heavy weapon teams into position, and it can add 6" to its Flat Out movement. It has four Heavy Bolters, and any of them can be swapped for Heavy Flamers, Autocannons or Lascannons. It can also swap the two side weapons for Side Armour 14, and can take a pintle weapon or a hunter-killer missile. This thing looks like a proper APC.



Next is the 300 point Praetor Armoured Assault Launcher. It's Super-Heavy, and based on the Crassus design. It still has the two front weapons (can be swapped as normal), and the same 14/13/12 Hull 6 chassis. Instead of a carry capacity, the roof opens up to reveal rows of missile launchers, but it really needs the yellow and black stripes around the edges so people know to keep away so their hands don't get crushed. As it is, it's a health and safety violation.

There are three weapon options, but unlike Missile Launchers, you have to choose at the start of the game and stick with it:
*Foehammer (drink once): 12-120" of range. S 8 AP 3 Ordnance 2, Barrage, 5" Blast, Twinned
*Firestorm: 12-120" range, S 6 AP 4 Ordnance 2, Barrage, 7" Blast, Twinned, Ignores Cover
*Pilum: 72" range, Heavy 2, Twinned, Skyfire, Interceptor

If you wanted to take two of those instead of one moderately upgraded Baneblade (drink once), I'd understand.


See what I mean by it looking cool?

Next, we're going back to weird Soviet-looking machinery, but piloted by the Death Korps of Krieg (so, based on oldschool French and German trench warfare uniforms, and a British acceptance of death and futility). The Gorgon Transport is 400 points of massive brick and bulldozer, with 9 Hull Points, and 14/14/10 for its armour. Also, the front armour facing has a 5++. It's actually open-topped, so people can leap out the front, back, sides, whatever. Understand that it's big enough that a smaller blast could literally land inside it and touch the infantry in it without touching the edges of the tank. It still counts as just hitting the tank, sadly.



It's amphibious, despite all evidence to the contrary (also I don't recommend actually putting the mini in water to find out). There are two sort of turrets at the back, each with a twin heavy stubber. It can also take another heavy stubber on the pintle (no actual pintle on the vehicle). It also has a Gorgon Mortar, which is weird in that it's one weapon mounted in four different places but all firing at once. A One-Shot blast barrage. But you can swap them for four heavy stubbers, heavy bolters or heavy flamers.

It holds 50 dudes, and up two two units per turn can clamber in or out. Note that it can be used as an Ogryn Delivery Service. Sadly, it can no longer transport other tanks. Also, the model can only literally hold fifteen or so models with bases. You can buy, for even more money, fifty actual dudes bunched up in lines, and they all fit, crammed in like that. It does look pretty realistic there for "shoving masses of troops together in discomfort". So fine, if not for the bases and dynamic poses, it could actually hold the stated number. Compare with the Space Marine vehicles, which could not possibly hold the claimed number.

Going back to the tech of Syrian rebels, we have the minotaur. It's a big tractor frame with a double-barrelled earthshaker cannon. Interestingly, it's 13/12/14 for armour (but assaults are worked out against Side armour, so still the lowest value), and any Ram, Thunderblitz or Death-or-Glory uses its higher Rear Armour. It can actually be Immobilised, unlike most Super Heavies. Its Earthshaker is 2-20 feet of range, S 9 AP 3 Primary 1, 7" Blast, Twinned.



All of that for 275 points.

Now onto the Macharius varieties. Basically, they're a bit smaller than Baneblades (drink once) and such, at 6 Hull Points, a slightly more old-fashioned design (we're probably talking WWII Germany?), piloted by Krieg forces. They all have 2x Sponson Heavy Stubber (can be swapped for Heavy Flamer or Heavy Bolter), 1x Twin Heavy Stubber. You have:

• The Basic: 325 points, Big Battle Cannons (72" S 8 AP 3 Ord 1, 7" Blast)
• The Gorgeous: 405 points, Vulcan Mega Bolter (60" S 6 AP 3 Heavy 15, fire it a second time if it didn't move in the Move Phase)
• The Darling: 375 points, Macharius Vanquisher (72" S 8, either AP 3 Ord 1, 7" Blast or AP 2 Heavy 1, Twinned, Armourbane - two fire modes)
• The Splendid: 355 points, Open-Topped, Omega Plasma Blastgun: fired as Pulsed (60" S 7 AP 2 Primary 3, 5" Blast) or Maximal (72" S 9 AP 2 Primary 1, 7" Blast, Gets Very Hot)

The Basic!

The Gorgeous!

The Darling!

The Splendid! Note: the book has a fully painted one, the website does not.

For the record, the Splendid doesn't come with sponsons, but can choose to be upgraded with them - choices are Heavy Flamer, Heavy Bolter, Autocannon. It also doesn't get the Twin Stubber, it's just there to carry the plasma weapon. Also for the record, I have the Gorgeous. It was so easy to assemble, but on the other hand the little bits will fall apart if you look at them because it's kind of shitty resin.

Next, typically used by the rebels, are the other "smaller Superheavy", which look like somewhat bigger Le Mann Russ tanks. The Hull has a Heavy Bolter (can be swapped for an Autocannon or a Lascannon), and the side sponsons have Heavy Stubbers (can swap for Heavy Bolters, Auticannons or Lascannons). 6 Hull Points, only 13/12/11 for Armour. They can all be Immobilised. Pretty damn cheap though. They are:

• The Standard: 235 points, ordinary Battle Cannon
• The Deluxe: 285 points, a crown of 5 Heavy Bolters in a semi-circle, Demolisher cannon instead of the Twin Weapon on the front.
• The Butch: 275 points, also has the Demolisher, can swap it for a Lascannon or Autocannon. Its turret has a Twin Lascannon.
• The Sassy: 275 points, actually carries its own little fuel tank behind it. It adds +1 to the "how badly does it explode?" roll. Doesn't have the Twin Guns at the front, instead has one big Inferno Gun (Hellstorm S 7 AP 3 Heavy 1, 18" Torrent, Ignores Cover). This can be swapped for a Chem Gun (Hellstorm, S 1 AP 2 Heavy 1, 18" Torrent, Poison 2+, Ignores Cover).

The Standard

The Deluxe

The Butch

The Sassy!

Then another one that rebels often use, the Valdor Tank Hunter. It also uses the "big Leman Russ" chassis, and is 320 points of Super Heavy. It gets +1 to detonate, and can be Immobilised, and interestingly, it only gets ONE sponson Heavy Stubber (with usual upgrades). It also has a Neutron Laser Projector: see the Cerberus (Space Marines).



For a Massive Fortification, they get the Imperial Fortress, at 500 points minimum. It's 1 Gate section, 2 Wall Sections and 2 Tower Sections. They're all Large Buildings, Massive Fortifications and Armour 15. Units can be placed on the battlements, gaining 3+ Cover, re-rolling any 1 to hit (shooting), and a 6+ Feel No Pain. It has a single Void Shield. Units occupying it are Fearless. The Gate is Impassable, except when no enemies are within 12", where it's Open. If that part is destroyed, it just becomes Difficult Terrain (all the time).

Any Wall can be upgraded to a Bunker, gaining Transport 30. The FnP save and re-rolls apply to them as well. Any Tower or Wall Bunker can be upgraded with 1 Quad Interceptor, 1 Icarus Lascannon or 2 Twinned Aegis Autocannons. Any Tower or Wall Bunker can also be u[graded with a Twin Heavy Bolter or Twin Lascannon. And you can also add extra Gates, Walls and Towers.


700 poundingtons. Other vehicles not included, just there for scale. Seriously, grab a GI Joe playset or something and use that instead.

SQUADRONS!

If you spend a billion dollars (okay, not quite, but it IS over a thousand pounds for the minimum) for 1+ Reaver Titans and 2+ Warhound Titans, then as a formation, the Reavers can re-roll misses against Gargantuans/Super-Heavies that the Warhounds have already hit.

That's 2+ of these:

And 1+ of these:


A Malcador (Standard or Butch) that leads 2-4 Valdors can designate a target in line of sight each turn (Super-Heavy, Monstrous or Gargantuan). The Valdors can then only fire their Neutron Lasers, and all at the one target. They get +1 to the Vehicle Damage roll for any Penetrating hits caused, or re-roll to Wound critters, and anything they cause to explode adds 1d6" to the radius.

2+ Gorgons full of infantry can use a big saturation bombardment 1/game. Whatever.

3 Minotaur tanks with a Baneblade (drink) or Stormsword (drink) as a leader (needs Command Tank upgrade) can all do a special barrage together. Two types:

• Concentrated: 2-10' range, S 10 AP 2 Primary 1, Twinned, 7" Blast. If all three fire, it's AP 1 and a 10" Blast.
• Fire for Effect: 2-10' range, S 9 AP 3 Ordnance, Barrage 4 (or 6 if all three fire).

Also there are two Super-Heavy Flyers (Marauder Bomber, for dropping lots of bombs, and Marauder Destroyer, for gunning aircraft down), whatever. The Bomber is also able to shoot its own tailfin off. There's a formation for Bombers where, if they all do their bombing runs together, their bomb clusters all gain Shred, Ignores Cover and Pinning.

Bomber (note the rear guns):


Destroyer:


Actually, that one might also clip its own tail fin.

Next up will probably be Chaos or something!

Take-home lesson from these: variants are a good way to take up page space without making massive new molds or spending too much time on rules! Also, everything is a bargain (points) price at Forgeworld. And costs more in actual money.

playing the baneblade game with el jimador is ill advised

Also, a note about the Macharius: the turret has nice 360 degree rotation, but the actual guns basically don't rotate up/down. Like, at all. So technically they can only fire straight ahead. Now, the game doesn't actually worry about that, you can totally shoot downwards or whatever. But it's just worth noting.

I imagine the Malcador also has serious problems regarding rotation and aiming. The proper GW (Word)(Word) tanks aren't a great deal better, either. Fuck, some of them have up-down rotation (to a small degree) but don't have any rotation in the turret, forcing the gun straight forward.

"Take 3-5 Razorwing Jetfighters in an Armoured Flying Spearhead, and it becomes hilarious. They get to fly at ground level and decapitate people. "

That is delightful. Also the Imperial guard tanks, they're all very phallic. It has inspired me to write apocalypse rules:

The Manhammer [200pts]: Put a GW approved skull ring on your dick. Any models hit by your reproductive fluids take a strength D attack. Your opponent may attempt to block this attack with their hands or an official GW Codex. This attack is only usable on your opponent's turn.



Holy Shit: Requirement: must have 100 nurgling bases: Put a marker on the table and roll scatter. Take a shit on the marker. It is hazardous terrain for anything without the mark of nurgle or a nurgle demon. Place 100+ nurgling bases anywhere touching your feces. Any time anyone in the gaming area makes a comment on the smell, gain 1 VP.

OgreBattle wrote:"Take 3-5 Razorwing Jetfighters in an Armoured Flying Spearhead, and it becomes hilarious. They get to fly at ground level and decapitate people. "

That is delightful. Also the Imperial guard tanks, they're all very phallic. It has inspired me to write a new rule: Put a GW approved skull ring on your dick. Any models hit by your reproductive fluids take a strength D attack. Your opponent may attempt to block this attack with their hands or an official GW Codex. This attack is only usable on your opponent's turn.

I try to keep my 1d4chan fanboyishness to a minimum, but I present this excerpt from a rant by Bjorn the Fell-Handed, concerning his primarch, Leman Russ.

"YEAH, THE GUY WAS A [EDITED]. WHEN THEY SHOWED HIM THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE LEMAN RUSS TANK, YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? HE SAID 'MAKE THE CANNON BIGGER... LIKE MY COCK!' HE DEMANDED THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE PREMIERE TANK OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD BE ALTERED PURELY SO HE COULD MAKE A DICK JOKE!"

Maxus wrote:

"YEAH, THE GUY WAS A [EDITED]. WHEN THEY SHOWED HIM THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE LEMAN RUSS TANK, YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? HE SAID 'MAKE THE CANNON BIGGER... LIKE MY COCK!' HE DEMANDED THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE PREMIERE TANK OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD BE ALTERED PURELY SO HE COULD MAKE A DICK JOKE!"

"Their arrogance is only matched by their firepower"